The 66 and 44

Dear friend,

I don't really know if I should tell you this, but I guess there is no reason to keep it to myself, if he`d grow wings ... I'd love to see him fly. Because I bet it's beautiful up there.
I like to watch him in a not-at-all-so-creepy way, because he's handsome, and by that I mean he's freaking gorgeous. Inside and out.
And I think if you have a person you care about, you should say this things, because people always are self-conscious and that's where all the problems start. And if you can't tell it outright, just write it.
And please don't fight. I hate seing you sad.

pulala

Please read it aloud, I want to hear your voice saying those words.

Dear friend,

I'm breaking, like a door smashed to pieces. Hard and painful.

Air

Dear friend,

you should know that walking on water is like making fire flow from beneath your feet.

Not impossible.

A bit hurts, though.

Confessions

Dear friend,

I have a few things I'd like to tell you,

Confession #1

When I first saw you, I thought: "God, he’s hot." That's just how simple I am.

Sometimes I'm not even close to a poetical girl, you may think I am, even with the great love for literature and beauty of a written word. The first time I saw you, my eyes liked you, nothing more.

Confessions #2

Before I went to the place where I met you the second time I thought: "I don't want to be in relationships now.” So when I saw you my eyes were ` wiii, he's here, ` but there it all stopped.

So when I got to know you, bit by bit, through the evening, my heart awoke. Not a love from the first site, heart just suddenly noticed how nice it feels to be by your side.

My fingertips yarned to touch you, and when they did, it was more than i had ever hoped for.

Confession #3

At first I tried so hard to be worthy of your sympathy. When we slept by the lake I figured, I just as well could show you the real me, and you didn’t get scared and didn’t run away so it was settled, no use to fake.

After all fake love is what you get when you fake too much.

Confession #4

There was a moment when I didn't like to be with you. Because I was scared and amused and I didn't know where the hell we both are going. But you broke that barrier in a blink of an eye and i think you never even noticed.

Confession #5

I like You. Believe when I say do.

Please don not be scared to do something wrong because there is nothing you could do now to make me run away. I know you, your kindness, your childish nature, and your helpful hands. If you make me angry - it doesn't end right away. I’ll scream a bit and that's all. Believe in me when I say I want to be with you.

Confession #6

I'm head over heels for you, honey. I'm head over heels.

The trio

Dear friend,

He told me he loved me, but I couldn't really believe it. We are too young. Don't you know, less than 1 % of first relationships ever works? How can we possibly be that serious? How can you trust me with your heart? Aren't you scared?

And I 'm saying this as my thoughts go I love you, I love you, I love you.

As I meet you I love you,
As I touch you I love you
As I say goodbye I love you

And I feel like such a hypocrite.

bubble

I guess I'm head over heels for you.

And I think it's gonna be alright.

2nd day

Dear friend,
you know what `fail` is? It's when you get happy hearing your ring tone, because you have missed his voice so freaking much, and discovering that's it's not at all his voice when you've picked up, but your friends who got the wrong number. I ust don't like this.

It's the second day i haven't seen you, so I'll tell you a secret - after tomorrow it won't matter anymore, you won't matter. because I'm always like this, 3 days is my limit, at first I'll think about you, at second I'll miss you and at third I'll get this melancholy feeling inside, but that's about it. After that you'll be out of my mind. Maybe somewhere in the background, but definitely not on the desktop. It's your choice where you want to be.

past

You are such a liar.
But I love you anyway.

I can't help ot but to feel abondoned, you used to love my works, or at least were better at lying, but now you just don't care at all. And it's not like I don't understand, it's just that I have no idea what to do next, could i pursue the career of a writer if even my world ignores my words. Is there a way I can make a difference, my words can make a difference, if I'm all alone in here?

I guess I'm the thief, after all.

Air

Dear friend,

he said you have wings as he said you have a soul,
and you can fly evermore

I'd fallow you to infinity
and back, i'd steal the stars and cover your skin
with sunshines.
I'd trust your path and know
it's my only way to the sky.
You are my path, there is no other
way. My wings are born from yours.
My wings are yours. I am
yours. You are the storm
that leads everyone to the clouds.
As I can reach you,
i'll fallow you.
Do not fear of loneliness, I'm right behind you.

A moment

dear friend,

it's beautiful outside. I mean it's autumn, and it's raining, and the leaves are wonderfully orange, and the night draws closer and closer and .. it's beautiful. The feeling this view puts inside of me is beautiful. I have no way to describe it and I have a feeling that no photo camera in this world could catch the beauty of this, so I just hope you are sitting by the window just like me and enjoying it too, if not, well, i hope there is something else that makes you happy. makes you alive.

A post

dear friend,

i'm getting more and more disconnected. As if the people around me can't really reach me. And i wonder if it's so easy to forget one of your closest friends, stop caring, but it's not really about that. I'm being weird and i just don't like that. So I'll just tell you a story,

there was a girl living in an up side down world, where people better had their hearts broken than actually tried to change something. So she went to places searching for the answers without defining the questions, looking for helping hands in the sky. The sun never left the sky so she never stopped believing that she'll find her teacher - someone old enough to have seen everything in this world. So she went from town to town reading her poems in little book shops, working part time in bars and making friends so strange she never  thought the world has. She saw people being happy, rising their childrens, fall inlove and get married. but she also saw people more evil she ever expected, hitting, screaming, breaking, lying, even killing.
So once she asked a stranger, who weekly came to her bar, in this town she was about to leave - why did he think these things happen? Why people are so different?
And the man looked her straight in the eye and said: "it's because there are a lot of people out there, who don't really believe they have souls. And without a soul person is nothing, robot. I've seen you perform in Annie's shop, you are quite good actually, but you always sound amused, and people feel that. They feel you doubts in your voice, feel your heart in your words. But it's okay, girl. You have such a young soul, such a pretty one as a matter of fact. So make a lesson of everything your lifes throws at you. And never stop believing that you have a soul. And everything is gonna be alright. You will find what you are looking for. "
"I think i just did," she said smiling down on the stranger.
"Oh no girl, it's just the beginning, it always is."

The night

Dear friend,

On the highroad with no lights on,
not making a sound.
I don't have a voice,
I don't have a breath.

The radio is on, but
my ears are long gone.
The night is as dark as
the lights let it be.

The stars are off, while
the night is way too black,
too strong,
they can't go through.

Wearing leather jacket,
although skin is all I have.
The heart is on power break,
the mind is on pause. relaxing.

The road will end,
the day will come,
I'll be alright.

sorry

Dear friend,

I just wish he'd sometimes look at me and say: "I'm glad it's you."

To be

Dear friend,

you were in my dream and if you knew what I did, you'd be dissapointed.

and then i'd say "That's how i roll," with sad smile on my lips, because after all it's the crack in that fucked up reflection of my desires.

and the nerves are just beat beat beating under the surface.

while i'm wanting to forget.

And it's like, you're loking like... as if i'm not enough. could i possibly be enough?

The notes

Dear friend,

Love will keep us alive

until the morning comes.

Let's stay together for now and ever.

Still,

Love will keep us alive only until morning

and together with you even forever seems to be way too short.

And i don't really believe that 2 can keep a secret only if 1 of them is dead.

ANd i truly believe that melody, melody is stronger than screams and noises.

Connection

Dear friend,

you could tell me all the right words and I'd still be lost with all the wrong things. But you could take me by the hand and I'd never dare to get you lost too.

A call

Dear friend,

The sky was full of paper airplanes, and we cought every one of them as each of them brought us closer to sky.

Believe in miracles.

Best part

Dear friend,

I never thought there are people that still don't understand this, but I guess there are, so I'll tell you know. If you have someone special to you than be sure that his greatest joy is your smile and your happiness. So when you come to a date grumbling about how you overslept or how the weather is too damn hot or whatever, think about the other person too. How can I say this.... You feel joy when the one that’s important to you gives you a sincere smile, right? When he feels happy, you do too, ne? So why do you don't understand that it's the same for him? Your smile could be everything he wants to see to make the day brighter! I just think you need to feel the happiness of being close to someone you love. That's the best part in life.

The thrill

Dear friend,

it's like one of the most intriguiting movie scenes, the one you are longing for the whole time, the climax.

His voice broken and hurt

You had your shot, now it's my turn to pull the trigger.

And his voice becomes mine as I slowly lift my hands, seeing as they shake .. seeing as they're .. empty.

my time

Dear friend,

have you ever been in situation when somebody is in almost 90% of your thoughts? Don't you find it a little bit irratating?

*me

yeah

Dear you,

I terribly miss you right now.

Butterfly fly

He never stopped repeating that love is like a butterfly, colorful and short, and I didn’t know any better to tell him otherwise. 

But it’s different now. So, wherever you are, listen. Maybe love truly is like a butterfly, because there is no thing colorful than love, but the time is where he went wrong. In love there is no short and there is no long, the time does not matter, it’s as if you are walking down the road in a middle of desert and feeling happy, feeling infinite.  

If he was here now, I’d tell him that he was right, love truly is just as beautiful as a butterfly. 

Lines

I & I and somehow it's parallel and it's amazing.

I & You really isn't, but it's still alright, ‘cause for all I am I want to be tangled up in you.

Antique romance

"I am a human, but a doll...
Feelings are not needed. Physically alive, but not mentally.
I am a painting trapped inside a rusted frame.
The cold skin of a statue.
Like a stuffed bird--
Killed and set for display.
I wonder...
I wonder, on whose display I will be placed..."*

The speed limit

Dear friend,

could we please go a little bit slower? I know you get 4 points for going slower than the actual speed limit, but we could drive in the safe side for a while, you know. Because I get dizzy and unsure at a high speed and the world seems to be upside down for me, and then I don't even know if I’m telling you the truth or if I’m lying or even if it's me who's talking. So if you want the best of me, slow down.

I am incapable of evading holes and other creatures at high speed so be ready for a not-so-shiny ending, because when I’ll hit someone I’ll stop, and that’s how far this story is gonna be.

The morning hangover

Hey friend,

turn off your television, radio and throw away all your books, stop listening and predicting and hoping, hoping, hoping. Life is not a story; it's more like an optimistic recreation of hell. Don't think you will fall in love with the first boy you like or even the first one you are together with, because that's a shit. The movies of beautiful life’s, created in some ones head, is just a dream, hon, it's just a dream. They make the world go crazy. Young girls longing for love, when there is no idea what that love actually is. Is it an embrace or linked hands? Is it somebody to spend your time with? There is nobody to tell you the right answer; no one can tell you what’s in your heart. 


 Life is not simple at all. Especially if you are a loner. Life gives you bumpy roads of stormy night in the middle of the ocean. Life gives you hard choices and uneasy feelings and things you just can't grasp with both hands and a beating heart no matter what. Life is all about the questions in the morning hangover and the feelings of the wrong direction your destiny is taking. And it's not at all about future, no, it's for the past, the hits and touches we have had, but most of all, it's about today. So stop wasting your time marveling at made up stories off princes and roses and the perfect moments, because life will just screw you anyway. 


But life is not that complicated as you fear, cause after all, it’s all about living and moving forward or backward, that’s your religion. So be sure, life will give you the most wonderful moments when you are not expecting them at all, so why don’t you stop now?

4 seconds

It is impossible for the thunder to catch the lightening. They will always be four seconds apart. Four steps and one blink of an eye.

The way she always reaches for his hand, but is never able to hold it with the right amount of rain.

Ir pagājis pusgads pēc pēdējā negaisa.

To save a memory

Dear friend,

My heart is beating really loud right now. And I have a big smile on my face, and it's all great. ^^

The sun is warm and maybe it's because of the spring that's finally arrived, or maybe it has a somehow different meaning overall. 

I look at the words I wrote not so long ago and strangely I’m happy, because I can say - I was there, and even if the words are sad and the meaning is hurt, I’m still happy. And I have realized lots of nice things and I will tell you them eventually. I am so far away from stopping, so be sure, I’ll still be here even when the song will have ended. This is the place where I put my memories, this is the way I’m able to remember all the things I lived through, and believe me, I have no intentions on forgetting the times I cried just as much as the times I laughed. 

Please find a place where you could keep all your memories, where you can safely keep your heart. I'm rooting for you.

The breaking

Dear friend,

It's our own fault that our hopes are crashed, because we are the ones hoping them.

He was right when he told me that people are selfish beings. And maybe that's way the few, who aren't really selfish, feel like left outside. I'm not telling you that I’m not egoistic nor that I’m all about giving and not taking, because that would be a lie. And it's really just a fact people being selfish. Maybe that's why our world is breaking down. And this isn't a clever thought or something philosophic; it's just something we both know. Maybe it'd be better if we didn't.

*me

Still wishing

"Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone
ought to be."

Dear friend,

It's funny how much we wish and how much we get hurt because they didn' t come true. But we still wish under the starry night. ANd it' s okay. For now I truly believe that if you really wish for something and are not affraid to do something in order to get it, the wish will come true. The thought somehow calms me down.

*me

The first move

Dear friend,

I was strong today, and because of my courege I expierienced night so much more than I ever imagined. I think I'm happy today.

*me

A sharing

Dear firend,

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. And I'm willing to let go even though I fear the consequences. It was an amazing day today. And I knew that right now I'm making a warm memory. And my laughter is your laughter and I could never ask for anything more. Let's make our adolescence as good as we can. Let's have an awsome ride to wherever our life is leading us.

* me

A qoute

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.

Yeah. That's why mom tells you not to play with fire.

I'm still

Dear friend,

It's like the sun itself is not sure if she is warm anymore. The snow is melting but the grass is still dead. The ground is dead even if you say you saw the first flowers just recently. They say and they love but somehow it doesn't matter, because sun is up there after all. And she feels lonely. Or she doesn't feel at all. Numb. I heard that song. I didn't understand it at first, now i wish i never had.

*me

The perks of being young

Dear friend, (yeah I got it from Charlie)

I'm feeling a bit more like myself after getting to know Charlie. So thank you.

One of my closest friends turns 18 this week so I was looking at our old photos wondering about the present I should give her and there are many memories I love to remember and many of those make me smile, but there is just this one where I know I felt infinitive. At that moment I was too blind to see, but Charlie made me realize how important it is too see the place where you are, to actually see that place. So at those pictures we all are together. The people I treasure so much. It's one of those rare moments I felt like I truly belong there. That I make a difference and that maybe, maybe this place would miss me if I’m not there. I wish I knew how important it was back than. Running up the hill, making memories, feeling right. That’s the silver line.

*me

The oven

Dear friend,

I can feel time on my fingertips and the clock makes me whole. I think it's past dinner time.

* me

The guard of the rain

Dear friend,

you should see me with an umbrella, I mean, I actually look like a clown dancing on a rope, except there is nothing but the same old ground underneath me. And I swing from one side another, bump in a few trees fall in the bushes and in the end I’m all wet. Makes me wonder why I even try. But I have to admit I’m exaggerating a bit there. I just wanted to make you smile. 

Have a nice day.

*me

The blinds

Dear, reader,

I wonder if real trust even exists. If there is something I know for sure, than that's the fact that `me` now is not capable of that kind of thing. Did I surprise you? Do you think it's weird? Or do you like me doubt every light you meet in this world? Actually it's not at all about the doubt, even not about fear of suffering, it's just .. I really don't know how to trust a person. It's like the button which allows me to trust is turned off. And it's not like I don't believe in people around me, no not at all, just trust and believing is a bit different, don't you think? Or maybe I’m not making any sense now. Sorry.

I think trust is more about feeling safe and that’s what I can’t seem to grasp.

`Katrai lietai savs laiks.` Heh.

*me

The cage

Dear, reader,

I know it may sound a bit dumb or you may say that I’m complaining too much, but, hey, maybe it might be the total opposite.

So what is it this time? oH. You see, I’m a bit tired of being the good girl. And, it's not like I am trying so much for someone other than me, `cause after all it's my future on the line, but I wish I had a bit more freedom. I think it's pretty fu**ed up that my parents don't trust me enough, or maybe they are just too scared to loose me, but that's not very nice of them. They are just using the fact that I love them too much. My grades are good, my behavior too, but I want a bit of a air to breathe. If there is anything I hate that that’s hurting them, so ..

They make me long for the time when I’ll be able to leave the house and the thought of it makes me hate myself `cause really? it's not like I’m a bird in a cage.

Putting that aside, have you heard the story about the bird in a cage? One of the most heart breaking stories out there. For us, who take such a thing as freedom for granted, the story will never be completely solved. That maybe is the beauty of it, the thought of something more. More then our mind is able to see. Just some tiny feeling our heart has recognized.

Still. Thanks for being here. I’m not gone complain anymore. Today. Heh.

* me

A tip

Dear, listener,

yesterday he told me I'm pleasant to be with, that I always find a way to warm him up. And it amazes me how new it still is for me to be complimented like that. At that moment I really did feel all sunny inside and it just made my wish to share the happiness with him even stronger.

So please, please, please don't forget to tell your loved ones how loved they actually are. That they are pretty, and intelligent and modern and that they are the best cooks even if they can cook that one and only dish, which basically is really simple. A friend is a motivation. A friend is a shoulder. It's time for us to notice that we ourselves make the environment we live in. We are the only ones to blame and to be thanked, Life is just that amazing.

And from my experience just this one little tip I wish to share. You see, don't add the foolish `today`. There is no need for it. You look beautiful. You truly do.

*me

An a

Dear, oh-you-so-well-know -who,

Don't you dare to make me choose between a friend and a lover if you can't fulfill bouth of the roles.

A runaway

Hey,

So you take the person most important to you ( a friend, a mother, a sister or lover, anyone as long as it keeps you from loneliness) and a bag with the things you can’t live with out. It will probably be full of most hilarious things like toothbrush and pencils that seems to be strange to call as most important things, but they surely helps you keep on living in peace. Than you take a dozen of thing that makes you happy and dozen that makes you smile. To me it would be something delicious ‘ cause I’m all in for food. And something to smile for could be some pictures if you are ready to take the past with you, or some songs for the right feeling. Than you take something that totally represents you. Like the doll of childhood or the story of the book you love the most. Add something you just can’t say no to and wolla. You are ready. You’ll have a ground to work to. You’ll have something that always reminds you of what you truly are, something to help you when the new world seems to be a bit more complicated than you’d like and you’ll have a hand to help you when you fall. It’s not at all that complicated and of course it’s not simple. This, If you have everything described in here, honey I’ll never understand why you would like a new beginning. Maybe something went wrong at the place you found yourself. Than take this all and start all over. You will have the help. Believe me, you are not the only one desiring for a runaway.

Don’t be afraid if there is something you have not found yet, we always keep on missing something. Still, go.

So we took our things and left. Under the stars and in the rain, you’ll never now, when the place you search for might appear. And the road is full of adventures and emotions.

Maybe I could call this home tonight?

I’m voting for you.

Hey,

sorry for being absent for so long. I had lot on my mind and on my plate. The truth is I’m scared. Of lot of things, but this time one of them is too serious for me to handle. I'm sorry if I haven't been myself this week, but you have no idea what I went through and I hope you'll never have to understand it.

I'm afraid of my friend, really, really afraid, but I can't speak it out loud because than it'll be real and I don't want it to be real. Am I a bad person?

I don't have a religion to fall back to or anything as strong and of course I know that it’s my own fault, and maybe that's why I feel so sick. I believe in destiny and ...

I don't know what to say to make her feel better. I can hear the fear in her voice, but all I can say is some ridiculous babbling about my every day life to make her laugh. I always believed that laughing, smiling makes the bad thing go away. Do they really?

Most of all I want to be your sunshine, but I can't even light my own way.

But I still love you with eveything I got, so get better soon. I miss you next to me.

*me

A correction

Hello, my friend,

I guess what I want to say is that I'm tired of being underestimated. Tired of people looking down on me only because sometimes I love to act childish, or sometimes I'm not the most sociable person. Cause in the end it doesn't matter if you are a keener or cheerleader, the smart one or football player. At the end of the day they all are afraid to get hurt. Scared of being in love, being vulnerable. And I just know that mistakes doesn't look at our status in society, they just find us that interesting to spend time with. They like us all. Hell, if you are pretty or ugly, young or old, okay, but what ever! Mistakes don't give a shit. Neither should you.

The Crashing mountains

Hey,

Maybe that's not fair from me to think so much about him, but i really can't stop. If I ever had to choose the man of my life it would be him and him only.

I think he would be shocked to hear that he still is in my heart, after all, it's been so long, but somehow, i just can't erase him. When you have this one person in your life that means everything to you, you want to give him all you got. When he’s taken away the want still remains. So I’m still sending out my life not knowing if it reaches the destination. I would have given him everything, i did not know any other way. There was no one as important, no one who could ever replace his smile in my heart, the feeling of his arms around me, the words that played with the mountains of crashes just to stay in memory. `Don't be sad,` he once said, `I feel like I can't do anything when you’re sad, my only wish is to make you happy. I'm gonna buy us some ice cream, alright? I'm gonna buy you the biggest portion of kiwi ice cream just for your smile. So promise you will smile.`

I promise.

A contradiction

Hey, pretty one,

`Beautiful things never last. That's why fireflies flash.` (Ron Pop, Fireflies)

A bitter sweet melody. And I know it may seem sad, but I don't see it that way. At least not now. My mind is like wind, always changing it's course. So today I think that happiness, even if it's a flash, should be lived with everything you got.

And I read a book yesterday ( I really did, it was so interesting I couldn't take my eyes off, so I finished it in one day, it's called `The French Gardener` by Santa Montefiore, check it if you want, I really recommend it, especially when you are feeling a little bit down or lost.) that made me realize how strong and deep love could actually be. We don't see it in nowadays, but I know it exists, I believe it does. It's a sad but breath taking story, like a Notebook, everyone had seen the film ( even if I was so late and saw it only this summer) , or like the Titanic ( I remember that first time I saw it - I didn't cry. I think I was too young than. The next time I saw it, I couldn’t stop crying. I already knew the scenario, I knew he would die, but it didn't change the fact that I didn't want him to. I don't want anybodies love to die. ).

I know the story is made up in someone’s head, maybe in someone’s, who longs for love just as much as the rest of us, but somewhere, somehow, I believe that the story had been a life time one. I believe that somewhere in the world lives The man and The women of each story ( I read only the good ones, so don't ask me about the others ^. - ) and they vitness something so strong, so deep, of which we got only a glimpse, maybe we got only the cherry. But that's nothing compered to all it has.

But the thing I wanted to tell you is that I think we should fight for our love. We should screw all the problems and find a way to make it work. Love is to make life more enjoyable, more free and easy. I think most of us have forgotten it these days. Or maybe they haven't , maybe that's way we live our life with this sad melancholy. I have a feeling life has more in it's case. And I’m hoping I won't be so dumb to let it pass me by. I hope you won't be to. Eh, I think you will grab it by your hands, yelling ` I was freaking looking forward for this, you know?`. I think that'll be great.

An Internet

Sometimes the whole world is in a little page full af words and persons you have never met in life. Where you can be what ever you want. And I’m afraid we will all grow fake this way.

Sometimes we forget to smile if there isn't a smiley in the end of our sentence. That’s how we grow up. And than comes this totally different person in you life laughing and shining like a crazy person and you don't know what to do anymore.

Well I'll advice this for you - just smile.

A thank you

I keep on looking at you and thinking how lucky I am to have you in my life. You are my smile, my sun, my warm, comfy blanket.

A Fear

Maybe you are right and I should stop writing.

A card

And I mean it.

An encouragement

Hey, You.

I can't stop thinking about the future and what awaits me and generation of nowadays.

There was a quote I fall in love with that said:

“People worry about kids playing with guns, and teenagers watching violent videos; we are scared that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands – literally thousands – of songs about broken hearts and rejection and pain and misery and loss.” (High Fidelity)

And that's what made me think. The styles, the music, the books and writers we have now, they all are a little bit broken, and you can even say that's the only way to gain popularity. But i really don't want to be like that. I don't want to write sad stories about girls that are left in misery and boys that don't even know what they want from life. Words are the one thing that remains after writers death, so would you want them be sad and frustrating? I want them to heal, to encourage, to help. And I want them to associate with me. That’s how I’ll always be in the hearts of the persons I love. That's what I believe in.

But maybe that’s not so important now. We are young, we are wild and we are free. This is our chance to live. This is what counts. I won't lie, there will be dozens of chances still left for you, but if you have the courage, don't waste your time. Smile. Live. Laugh. Sing. Dance. Have sex. Live like you mean it. Live like every moment is the one you were looking forward all your life.

*Me

I think he knew and that's what broke him.

Hey, pretty one. I wish you'd know why I write this. Maybe you do. But I'm happy. Because i can write again. Because I know he listens. I think he knew and that's what broke him. His name was Tuesday. He would through arrows of anger towards you if you giggle or say some ridiculous comment about his name, but still, everyone laughed, no one believed and he still threw arrows sometimes just because of habit. The name was the single interesting part of him. He was a loner. Sometimes I sat across him on that poor excuse of a table we had and thought that his name is suited for him. He was exactly like Tuesday. Mondays are the hard beginning, when all you can hope for is for the week to process as fast as it could. On Monday everyone waits for Wednesday, while it's the little Friday they say. Thursdays are when you feel obnoxious, Fridays are when you celebrate, Saturday and Sunday, you don't even have to describe them, they are what makes all week worth while. So what happens to Tuesday? It gets lost and unnoticed, that's what. And I can tell you, this boy was totally lost. He was my neighbor. I was his girl next door, though, a little less fancy, a little less sexy and a little less broken. And I knew he wouldn't want it any other way, because he was an artist, not a geek with millions of fantasies about girls in improper way. He was a poet. A good one. A sad one. Although that's inseparable, isn't it? Every good poet has his heart broken. On the first family, neighbor meeting I asked him on which day had he born. He looked at me with a sad smile on his lips and said that it was Thursday. It made me even more curious about his name, but he never said a thing about why he has a name of a day. (Sometime later my sister asked him the same question and his answer was completely different. He liked to play with my brains like that.) If there was a day when he wasn't at school it was Tuesday. You could ask him all you want but he'll never tell you where he goes on these days. After a while I just laughed it off and said that he just want to be more mysterious then he already is, his name, the days, no coincidence. He smiled and stayed quiet. He liked it this way. After school he went to college somewhere far away from our homes. He still sent me a letter every now and then, but it was just a formality. (A little bit later he admitted that I was his key to keep sane.) I wrote him back, babbling and chatting, but never mentioning the feelings I get from the empty seat across our poor excuse of a table. That was my key for keeping it sane. He died when he was 20, still in the college, still young and still broken. He died on Tuesday. Every mention of Tuesday, every Tuesday made me think of him. He surely is sitting somewhere on the cloud looking down on me with that sad smile and writing poetry. He probably knows that I can't keep him out of my head; he probably feels joy on that. Tuesday sees how I'm reading his poetry every night before drifting to sleep. He knows that soon everyone will be able to buy it, because I wished to tell people the story of his heart. And every syllable, every rank, every versa was as beautiful as his smile. I got money for something he wrote, and I knew he wouldn't care. Sometime I think that's why he even wrote it, so I had something to do, when he is not around. So I lived on with his words in my heart and waited for the moment to come. For the moment he described in his last poem. For the moment when "I'll be waiting for you" will be said aloud and the "I'll show you why" will become reality.

A promise

Hello, heart.

I think about you frequently. Just trying to figure out if you're still here.

I don't really believe that in your life exists a person you can force out, even forget. That's my only hope right now.

With love,

It takes two to make it work

Hey, you.

I just had to write this down. For me, for you and just because.

He is amazing because he is more then he shows the world and you love it, - you are the only one who knows that.

He is nothing like those foolish guys that try to show the world how much better they are then anyone else, although, they don't even understand that there is n o s u c h a t h i n g - better then.

He is a mystery, your mystery.

Do not underestimate that.

You'll have trouble, cause in the end he is just like any other person with his own fears and problems, but you are the one he is not afraid to open up, so don't hurt him. And i promise if you do that, if you stand by him in troubles and moments of happiness, he will never hurt you.

He'll be your sun, your friend, your brother and lover. Boys like this are worth more then any money could ever buy. They are worth your heart.

Happy New Year

Hey, pretty one.

So it's New Year again. And I have so much to wish you, but honestly I hope that someone have already sent their love and kisses to you. Still, honey, be happy this year. Just as happy as you get, when you hear that special song. You know - the one that gets your heart to melt? You probably are not aware of what I am talking right now, but soon you'll just hear it again in the radio and you'll know the feeling, and will never forget the song. It's like every string of your body and soul relaxes. It just breaths in and out, in and out, and on that perfect, pure moment you just smile. So I want those moments a lot more in your life this year. Song or no song, just enjoy your life.

Don't get scared when something new clings to your door. Be cautious, take it slow, but don't turn it down just because of fear. If you want, I'll help you with that.

Have fun!

With love, Evita.