so so so

It's so hard to start again. Maybe I'm simply lost, and you can't find me and it somehow gives me the `it's all been done before` feeling.
But i`ll tell you one thing for sure - i'm tired of my life being a mess, I'm gonna sort it out in this summer. At least i will try.
Men are hard to understand you know. Gives me headaches. Why was it worth it again? oh. yes. Remembered.

I'm kinda happy now. Thank you. ^^

Oh, my.

I haven't seen you in ages. Where have you been?
How is it possible that only seeing your face brings me so many memories...
I'm good, but, wow, you look great!
I never in my wildest dreams thought that i will ever see you again. Our `end` was cut with the sharpest knife, because any other options where just too painful. 
Yeah maybe your right.
Don't say that i haven't changed, because I've tried so hard to leave that little, childish girl behind. 
Oh, ... wait what? No, No. nononono.  

Hopes still don't get you anywhere

I am angry, sad and disappointed. And I wish you' d be here to help me. I wish you cared. And as hard as i' m trying, I know that I still haven't been able to show you that caring and love is two different things. I know you love me, baby, of course i do. But do I know that you care? No, not the slightest, because somewhere along the line you stopped caring if i'm happy or sad. You stopped linking yourself with my happiness and started looking at me as if I was just another person in your life, and you don' t link yourself with my problems, even more, you wish I stopped dragging you into them.And I know what you are thinking right now - she is overreacting again. 
So what if I am?

rolling in the deep

You leave and I'm hanging on empty. It's like none of this matter to you anymore.
Everything as cheap as possible, as fast as possible. Nothing is special anymore to you, am i right?

on or off

Do you remember when we first met?

I know it was winter, February 6th, in a dark night. I don't exactly remember it myself, but so you have told me. So it was a very bright room with people in white rushing somewhere, and I probably was crying. And all red. I doubt I knew who you are at that moment, but I' m sure I realised that the warmth I had lost was found in your arms, in your embrace. And for all it's woths I know that the first true smile I ever saw was yours.

I.H.Y

Dear friend,

I love characters that know what they are , what they want, and where are they going. That's all i want to be and nothing i am.

I found this on one of my writings and it kind of clicked today. Sorry for being so busy and not being busy at all. Sorry for all the things I haven't told you and for all the things I haven't done. But i want you to know at least this -
I'll try harder. For myself and for you. Cause it's gonna take some while for this storm to pass.